REVIEWING IMAGO PRINCIPLES, SKILLS, AND PRACTICES
The best method I ever found for my work with families, couples, and all relationships was the one called “Imago” (Latin word for image). The theory was developed by Harville Hendrix and its growth and continuation has been enhanced by his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt. This couple has been transparent over these many years, allowing us to learn and grow from their experience as a committed couple, devoted to healing and evolutionary expansion.
Yesterday, I had a delightful encounter with a three or maybe four year old, extremely intelligent young lady. We greeted each other with a high five and she looked at me and asked, “What’s wrong with your face?” Now, how would you answer that question? I knew exactly what she meant. My face is that of an old woman with 82 years of experience–wrinkled, sagging, and liver spotted. I watch out for stray long hairs that grow out of interesting spots, unexpectedly. I cover the liver spots with makeup, but this day, I was in the raw, un-made up, “au naturale.” I also had a lot of sweat pouring from my pores, and reddened skin due to lifting some heavy boxes. My answer to Piper was that “I got really hot.” She countered with, “Why are you hot?” And that brought many possibilities to my mind. I thought she wouldn’t really be interested in the weather facts. We have had a very hot summer of record-breaking heat and no rain. (I call it the Rick Perry effect–lots of hot air and high pressure drying us up here in Texas.) But those ideas wouldn’t be interesting or pertinent in the life of a little girl. So we said good bye and I hope to meet her again very soon. I smile at the candor and honesty of her question. She is perfectly wondrous–a genius with original vision and incredible determination.
When someone asks me about my day, I get a thrill. Same in reverse. When I ask someone about their day, I get a thrill. So, if I like to be thrilled, then I can reach out, touch someone, and together we can create something optimistic or pessimistic. I really enjoy the answers to my questions. Each person is so different, so unique, and represents a story in action. Each holds unlimited possibilities. Each one of us was generated by an energy field that knows only possibilities. So, whatever I perceive, it becomes my reality. When I engage with someone on a one to one basis, I can be interested, enthusiastic, and friendly. They can, too. One person can make a huge difference.
Written at 6:00 p.m. on October 13, 2010
Three subjects that reveal a person’s strengths in action:
I. Memories from the past that are satisfying. This includes actions, achievements, relationships, skills, or knowledge. Ask, with what am I most satisfied or what makes me most proud?