THE SPIRAL OF GROWTH
By Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.
(The examples are compilations from real life, with no reference to specific people. All these “flavors” have been observed over the years. No one person is being revealed, just as no real name is used.)l
THE SPIRAL OF CONSCIOUSNESS
(Summary notes)
By Marjorie R. Barlow, 2008
These are my notes from a longer version of our growth toward consciousness. I have observed these turnings in thousands of clients over the past 40 years. Most of the people I have met in counseling were in a state of being asleep. By that, I mean their consciousness was still in the stage of belief that all that happened was being caused from the outside. There was little recognition that reality is generated from the inside. So, I invited them to come to some form of awakening through heightened awareness. The spiral moves in ever widening, higher turns. From Asleep all the way to Authenticity, growth was happening and consciousness expanding. I was honored to participate in that process. It was awesome and inspiring to witness.
ASLEEP: A state of ego protection. Persecutor-rescuer-victim roles. Defense mechanisms. Aloneness. Separation. FEAR (dark, negative forboding). Problems solved through control, comply, quit. Need to be right. Belief: Life is created from outside forces. Life is serious. Emotions responding to others behavior. (usually negative like mad or sad or powerless). The “pain body” is real (see Eckart Tolle’s books).
These skills are worth learning. I used them for many years in my work with couples. They may seem easy at first glance, yet my experience is that they need to be practiced with some deep dedication. You will never go wrong when you mirror their words; grasp the meaning; and understand the feelings. Try it. I predict you will like the benefit.
Mirroring–
Listen and reflect every word someone says. Do it sincerely and naturally. Prove you heard all their words. Say back to them, “If I heard you correctly, you said_______” Ask, “Did I get it?” If they say yes, ask, “Is there more?” If they say no, ask them to tell you again. Keep reflecting until you know through their words, body posture, eyes, and facial expression, that they believe you have heard them accurately.
Synopsis of a speech given by Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.
Valentine’s Day is here again! It is a day to think about love. My message is about learning to love rather than finding love. My sub-title might be, “It’s easy to love them when they act right!”