These skills are worth learning. I used them for many years in my work with couples. They may seem easy at first glance, yet my experience is that they need to be practiced with some deep dedication. You will never go wrong when you mirror their words; grasp the meaning; and understand the feelings. Try it. I predict you will like the benefit.
Mirroring–
Listen and reflect every word someone says. Do it sincerely and naturally. Prove you heard all their words. Say back to them, “If I heard you correctly, you said_______” Ask, “Did I get it?” If they say yes, ask, “Is there more?” If they say no, ask them to tell you again. Keep reflecting until you know through their words, body posture, eyes, and facial expression, that they believe you have heard them accurately.
Year: 2010
02/26/10 QUAVERY HAPPINESS
February 26, 2010
QUAVERY HAPPINESS
My new life, created daily, moment by moment, is dedicated to Joy, Happiness, and all the 8 directions in my Life-Long Compass of Joy. These guide-posts are at the 8 direction points: SE, I think about the Joy of Existence itself and I make my intention to “Show Up”; NW, the subject is the Joy of Compassionate Caring and the intention is to “Listen Up”; SW, I imagine the Joy of Creativity and determine to “Open Up”; NE, the Joy of Evolving where I resolve to “Grow Up”; W, the point is to play and have fun, and to “Lighten Up”; E, the Joy of learning and I continue to “Wise Up”; N is the Joy of loving and I “Link Up”; and to the South, the Joy of Work where I “Offer Up”.
February 11, 2010-MORE ABOUT STRENGTHS
Working from my Strengths
How do I know that I am in the “flow” of using my God-given strengths. What evidence do I have that tells me I am on-track, coming from my optimum self-development? When I am working, how do I know I am in that flow?
02/07/10: YOU AS LEADER
You As Leader
I have been thinking about this idea today. Think of all the people in your life that you would label “Leader”…..
Next, describe how you think they are doing. Go for the best praise and the lowest criticism for each one of them. Take time to do this and be as honest as you can in your assessment of each one.
The Fifth Agreement
I am a fan of Don Miguel Ruiz. We have followed the philosophy in his “Four Agreements” for many years. Today as a new year begins, it seems fitting to recommend his next book, The Fifth Agreement. The concept, according to Ruiz and his son Jose, is that everything we do is based on agreements we have made — agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, and with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. With these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. His idea of agreements corresponds to my notion of beliefs. Now he is adding an agreement that is dear to my heart. As an advocate of deep listening, this fifth agreement is right down my alley of beliefs. I am copying words written in the advertising promotion, which is a quick and easy way to review all five: