“Catching Up”

April 1, 2020

We live in interesting times!  The social distancing required by the spread of  COVID-19 has brought many changes in our lives.  Since I live alone, the changes are minimal.  Yesterday, five of my friends brought our lunches to a lovely golf course adjoining one friend’s home.  We set up our chairs six feet apart and had a lively discussion while enjoying the beautiful sunlit day.  Blue sky and white fluffy clouds, cool weather and a good time had by all.   Read more...

POCKET GRANDMOTHER TACTICS

  • Notice your feelings. FEELINGS are your best guide toward success. Feelings reveal what is going on inside you and when they are negative, that is your signal to wake up. Get on track! You have lost your way.   Your emotions are your EGS—your Emotional Guidance System.
  • Face the face in the mirror. MIRROR-acles are in store when you learn to do mirror work. I strongly encourage you to look at that face in your mirror and unconditionally tell her that you love her. Louise Hay has pioneered mirror work.
  • Speak lovingly to the face in the mirror. JOURNAL into your mirror. Instead of writing in your journal, speak to the image in the mirror all that you would have written. Do this at night as a closing ceremony to the day. Do it in the morning as a way of setting up a day of joy. The reason for this exercise is to cultivate your own Pocket Grandmother, the voice of unconditional love. Practice accepting yourself warmly and affectionately. You can become the Sophia voice.
  • Accentuate the positive. DARE to go one week without criticism of self or others, no blaming, fault-finding, no negative talk, and no orders-commands-directions-requests. Just one week of taking yourself into a different reaction. This will get you some base-line data regarding those you live with and profess to love. AND, you will discover the path to your own self-love and self-forgiveness.
  • Take responsibility for your life. Join the AAA: You are the AUTHOR-ACTOR-AUDIENCE in your own life drama. You came to planet Earth to create yourself in the slow journey of one lifetime.
  • Use your power. CREATIVITY is your divine right. REACTIVITY is your ego struggling to win. Your internal Pocket Grandmother is your creative self in its full divine possibility.
  • Eliminate the negative. Don’t compare; don’t blame; and stop trying to understand why. Cherish yourself; love yourself; create yourself.
  • Claim the power of love. Self-Love and self-forgiveness will clear the way for you to create your very highest and best Self.
  • Love is without conditions. Loving others is easy when you love yourself unconditionally. As I have said before: “It is easy to love others when they ‘act right.’ The stretch into your growth comes when your love has no conditions.”
  • Get real with your internal projector. The outside world is your mirror. Those around you reflect what you are. When you don’t like them, you probably haven’t accepted yourself (for “they” will do what they do. Your reaction is the signal that it has something to do with you.) Projection is everything. It is all generated from within you. Your perceptions create your projections. Remember my scripture on this: “Whatsoever thing thy neighbor doeth that rattleth thy cage, ringeth thy bell, pulleth thy chain, or pusheth thy button, that thing hath more to do with thee than with thy neighbor. But, take heart, thy neighbor doeth thee the favor of revealing what is still within thee that needeth thy attention!”
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    DEFINING POCKET GRANDMOTHER

    Pocket Grandmother is a concept in your own mind. She represents the challenge of taking charge of your own growth and development, in the kindest method you can imagine.  She is your internal nurturing caring grandparent, who accepts, appreciates, allows, and anticipates good in your life. She sees you through kind, loving eyes, gently being present without fear. She is that part of your thoughts that unconditionally loves you. She is your ‘Glinda, the good witch from the north,’ and she will never do negative criticism nor will she chastise you. She is always present, and she may be sometimes amused by your thoughts of lack or need. She helps you fulfill your desires.

    One prototype for this interior concept, your Pocket Grandmother, is my neighbor from the early days of the 50s, Mrs. Fourqurean. She was always cheerful even when given the task of daily caretaking of her husband, “Papa Tom,” after his stroke. She would ask to care for my children, so I could take a break from the constant demands of mothering. This precious neighbor was a real live fairy godmother. And she is one possible model for your internal pocket grandmother, always smiling, always aware of how to be helpful, her eyes deep and luminous, twinkling with joy.

    Grandmothers are inspirational; mothers are judgmental by necessity.   When Pocket grandmother says, “I love you, but… that color looks terrible on you,” it feels helpful and loving. She can say, “I love you, but that guy you’re dating is a jerk.” She can say “Sweetie, that is not your shoe size.” And you feel cared about.   When your mother says, “I love you, but…” it feels judgmental and controlling. As you create your Pocket Grandmother, you can notice the difference in mothering and grand-mothering. There is a time gap of one generation of difference, allowing the necessity of the mother who is responsible for your training and the grandmother who can be your inspiration and your life-long adoring system of caring and support. Mothers tend to “mold” you; Grand-Mothers will “unfold” you.

    Imagine telling this new inner being your troubles. See them melt like frozen snow in warm sunshine. Feel your well-being, your worthiness, your wealth and your personal warmth begin to radiate from you—no matter what comes.

    You, with your vivid imagination, can construct a personal, private safe haven of comfort and support. Just imagine sitting or being held in the arms of a kind and caring grandmother. Experience the absolute comfort of pure love. Relax and absorb the feelings of security and comfort; allow those feelings to become your true state of being.

    Pocket Grandmother can be created by what she is not—admonishing, controlling, criticizing, suspicious, impatient, condemning, judging, guiding, limiting, or fearful. You can create her by using the positive side of the negative critical parent descriptors. You are the creator who can establish a different inner parent—a nurturing grandparent—your very own Pocket Grandmother. She is always there to give positive recognition, freedom from load, a witnessing spirit, tolerant, patient, praising, championing, inviting, befriending, and ever expansive, evolving, and resilient.

    Your internalized Pocket Grandmother is your champion, your friend, your comfort, your support, and she loves you without conditions. She offers you warm acceptance just as you are. Pocket Grandmother, like the good witch Glinda, reminds you that you had the ruby slippers all along. She is playful and sometimes comedic, sometimes brash, always truthful and real. She is honest with no need to earn your love.  Enjoy your creation!

     

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    Books, Books, Books

    January, 2015 Reading List

    One of our most cherished rituals is our morning “table time.” Paul and I read to each other from several books. We close our time with meditation. It is a very good way to begin the day. Here is what we are reading this week:

    The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, by Sogyal Rinpoche. A good review of Buddhist teachings. I like this one better than the old one (The Tibetan Book of the Dead.)

    Consolations, by David Whyte. He takes one word and gives evocative thoughts about that word. I especially liked his paragraphs on Anger. Thanks to good friend Cindy S. for the gift of this book.

    Prosperity Every Day, by Julia Cameron. I still like her book, The Artist’s Way. This one is short daily readings.

    The End of Power, by Moises Naim. When I read that Mark Zuckerberg had recommended this book for his book club, I wanted to read it. If you are wanting to come into the real Aquarian Age, this book will give you the picture that supports all the notions about when ‘Jupiter aligns with Mars.’ Remember Hair?

    Adventures of the Soul , by James Van Praagh.   Probably his best book to date. I like the way he ‘sees.’

    The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte. Thanks to Reverend Ellen D. for the recommendation. I have been using desire for a long time, rather than goals. She is talking about goals with soul. I like her style.

    Here are favorites (*) that we are re-reading:

    *The Wizard of Us, by Jean Houston

    Jean is still my favorite teacher and the all American myth, The Wizard of Oz is still a wonderful fairytale.

    *To Be and How to Be,” by Peggy Rubin. Peggy is also a remarkable teacher with the purest heart. She and Jean were prime evocateurs of my spiritual growth in those Mystery School days.

    *How Long is Now? By Timothy Freke. He pronounces his name “freak” and is a great stand-up philosopher. Lucid Living, written by this same author is another of my favorite books.

    Enjoy!

    Is Optimism the Key to Developing Leadership?

    Q&A from American Society of Interior Designers, prior to their summit in Atlanta, GA.   Written April 25, 2014

    By Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D., Counselor, Consultant, and Coach, Interface, Inc.

    With what anyone would describe as a full career already behind her, Marjorie Barlow began her work with Interface in 1996, as a part of Ray Anderson’s Executive Leadership Team. Barlow holds a bachelor’s degree in Business and a master’s in Psychology from Texas A&I University, and a Ph.D. in Education from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Barlow, a Certified Strengths Coach, will present at the ASID Design to Lead Summit taking place May 2–3 in Atlanta. She will lead attendees through the StrengthsFinder process to help participants identify their strengths and grow as leaders. Read more...