Outline: Seven Keys to Relationship

  1. AWARENESS
    1. Merciless Self-Awareness
    2. Simultaneously being participant and observer
    3. The Power of Stimulus-Response
  2. AUTHENTICITY
    1. Courageous Realness in the Now Moment
    2. Risking Being Seen
    3. Risking Being Known
    4. Risking Being Changed
    5. Trusting Intuition
    6. Obeying Instincts
  3. OWNERSHIP
    1. Personal Responsibility for Beliefs, Thoughts, Feelings, Behavior
    2. Acceptance of Internal and External Flow of Words and Images
    3. Choice of Attitude
  4. CREATION vs. REACTION
    1. “In the beginning was the word…..”
    2. “Be impeccable in your word…..”
    3. All creative change begins with confusion
    4. Clarify the Relationship Vision
    5. Creative tension vs. Structural tension
  5. CONVERSATION
    1. The Conversation IS the Relationship
    2. Talking is not conversation
    3. Conversation is verbal and non-verbal
  6. ACTION
    1. Hear — Accurate listening without judgment, blame, analysis, or “fixing”
    2. See — Looking through soft, new eyes (“Now” eyes)
    3. Hold — Investing in the development of another
  7. WISDOM
    1. Concept: “Listening is Doing Something”
    2. Let silence do the heavy lifting
    3. Develop the art of timing
    4. Quiet the chatter in the mind, staying focused on what is said
    5. Loving detachment; open to outcomes
    6. Three basic skills from Imago Relationship Therapy:
      1. Reflection (mirroring the words)
      2. Validation (grasping the meaning)
      3. Empathy (understanding the feelings)