These ideas are forming after studying the book by Patrick Lencioni, “Silos, Politics, and Turf Wars”.
FOUR INTERNAL SILOS THAT OPERATE LIKE EXTERNAL SILOS AND ONE SILO OF HOPE:
I. The SURVIVAL silo
Habit and tradition
Fear and victimization
II. The BAD FEELINGS silo
Emotion and “Rescuitis” or “Victimization”
III. The CREATIVE THINKING silo
Right Brain Creativity
Up, Up, and Awayyyyyy
IV The LOGIC and REASONING silo
Left Brain Logic
Cold, mechanistic, unfeeling
“Business is business”
Persecution, Criticism, and Victimization
Good News–The HOPE silo
Frontal Lobes (evolutionary human development)
Oneness (We are all in this together)
Altruism (The operational theme in this silo)
Ultimate applied Christianity
Contains positive energy
Just as silos in corporations operate independently and have turf wars, so do we partition off our internal mind-brain system with one section at war with another when the daily frustrations of life are providing obstructions to our quest for happiness and success.
Four examples come to my mind. These are not real life stories from individual people, but composite stories from many who experience these internal turf wars.
1. e.g. Wife says, “It is hard for me to get excited about my husband going on a business trip to Hawaii when I am 8 months pregnant”. She operates in the FEELINGS silo
2. e.g. Husband says, my wife is scheduled for a hysterectomy and I am being sent to South America. I go because I have dropped the ball before and am in danger of losing my job. He comes from the LOGIC and REASON silo, which is lodged in the left-side thinking brain. (The new research says left and right brain models are much too simplistic but we use it here for sake of the argument) He thinks, maybe I can get my doctor to advise me not to fly, which is the only real excuse acceptable to my company. This is a leftover from the old factory, church, and public school dictums—you show up unless you are sick. You don’t stay home just because a family member is sick.
3. e.g. President of the company (or Nation) says, I set the visionary path and everyone who answers to me has a version of the path—not always in alignment with what I am envisioning. How do I persuade or inspire them to follow the path? He is going back and forth from his own frustration (FEELINGS silo) and re-thinking whether his leadership choices are correct (LOGIC silo) with overtones of struggle from his wish to adhere to the vision (CREATIVITY silo). All the time, many who answer to him are in the SURVIVAL silo, following old, cynical belief patterns and a “ho-hum-here-we-go-again” stoicism. Or, his followers may be practicing the “law of the minimum” where they do just enough to appear to be on track but, behind the scenes, they are full of talk about their doubts in their leader.
4. e.g. the “poor me” employee who is certain his boss is prejudiced (FEELINGS silo)…collecting data to support the feelings over in the LOGIC silo. When playing the victim game of Poor Me, there is a scene where anger and resentment (FEELINGS) are coupled with observation of behavior providing proof for the conclusion that the boss has favorites (LOGIC). These two silos are not so much at war as they are teaming up to support the fear-based silo (SURVIVAL)
5. e. g. middle manager has a difficult project that is not going well. Internally, her fight is between the SURVIVAL silo, which says she will last on the job only through playing the game right. Yet when she visits the LOGIC silo, she has enough experience to grasp that the project may fail. So the outcome, if it fails, is it will fall back on her shoulders and she will be blamed. There is a war between FEELINGS, and LOGIC, and SURVIVAL.
These internal wars are as vicious as the external turf wars.
How does the wife step up to support her husband in example one—without feeling sorry for herself?
How does the husband whose wife is having surgery justify going on the trip to SA? She is not too empathetic to the danger of his possible loss of job. She says something like, “So, you can get another job!” That takes them into another fierce argument about priorities.
How does the president adhere to the vision while others get the spirit of excitement and forward movement? What will inspire them? How do leaders actually stay in front of the curve of public criticism? Where does he focus his energy?
And, finally, how does the employee who is feeling persecuted find a way to be enthusiastic and supportive of the boss he doesn’t trust?
Internal silos are coping mechanisms. If our lives have been lived in quiet desperation, with denial of the reality of childhood woundings (and we have all been wounded far more than we can imagine); if our relationships still play psychological games with Rescuer-Persecutor-Victim the only roles available; if we believe that our feelings-thoughts-beliefs-behaviors are stimulated and controlled from the outside, then we will continue the blame and complain games. And our internal silos will be in conflict.
If we get real and comprehend that there is another internal silo, where we honestly know that we are part of all life and that there is only ONE universal silo—then we will pursue the learning it takes to participate in that oneness. We will get it that what is inside gets out-pictured in the so-called “real” world. Each of us is creating the reality we experience. The truth may be that the universe in its vastness is our parent body and we are all various individual cells in that body.
David Whyte’s new book and seminars based on the book, “The Three Marriages” is speaking to the Oneness. He says that we have a personal marriage, a job marriage, and a marriage of self to Self. If all three marriages can be reconciled into One Marriage, then we might reach a new age in human evolution.
My old concept of Self-Others-Society, SOS, fits here. When we grasp the reality that we affect one another with the thoughts we think, the beliefs we espouse, the feelings, and the actions we initiate, then we can get to a place of real power. Not power over but power with one another. When we marry all three selves, we can empower our true essence of soul to come forward on the playing field of life on this planet and we will join together to move toward a world of Oneness, Harmony, Peace—both within and without. That means we might just learn to love one another. We might join our minds in pursuit of the highest calling we can find—true charity—true altruism—real LOVE—the final silo.
What if in example #1, the wife is a real grownup and she is interested in taking the path of love rather than fear. She might say to her husband, “I want you to be with me in this last month of waiting for our baby, and if you decide to go ahead with the business trip, I will not take it personally. I will trust your decision to be made from your best and highest thinking.” The husband might or might not decide to stay home and take the risk of the consequences. But, neither one of them will blame the other for their unhappy feelings and neither one of them will be “brought down” by the action of the other. Actions are what we do and they reflect what we believe. Thoughts and feelings are congruent to beliefs. Moral lesson: “Who am I really? How do I want to be? Will I choose the road of fear or the road of love?”
In example #2, a grown-up dialogue between husband and wife might bring them to understand their real core values. Why is he working so hard? Is it to buy things she wants? What do they believe about illness? Is illness ever used as manipulation? What is important to us in our maturity? Moral lesson: “We are the heirs of our own choice-making.”
In example #3, this President (of a corporation or a nation) is elected or appointed or endowed with the position of leadership. It is the leader who holds the vision. The vision might have been collectively imagined from the whole company or country. The leader may have his position because he captured that collective imagination. Now, it is his role and duty to take that vision forward. He must convince those who execute daily operations to adhere to the vision and interpret every action in accord with the vision.
How? Through constant dialogue; through knowledge and awareness; through information gathered at all levels of the operation; through management by wondering around; through inspiring speeches and public appearances; through his own alignment with the vision at all levels of his life; and through the integrated oneness of his own code of ethics, values, and credo. Such is the stuff of leadership. The moral lesson: “Leaders are, by design, out front and lonely”
Example #4, this employee can open his mind and heart to possibilities for helping his boss to succeed. His belief that the boss is out to get him will fade when he recognizes his boss as having worth and begins to support instead of criticize. If, after 3 or 4 weeks of supportive action, he still sees evidence of his boss playing favorites, he might want to ask for a transfer. Amazing how stopping criticism (even inside the mind), faultfinding, complaining, and resentment can open the door to possibilities of a different relationship. So, his first task is to start a list of good qualities and positive behavior from his boss. The list needs to grow longer than the complaint list. The moral lesson: “What you pay attention to will expand.”
Example #5: It is true; responsibility falls on the backs of those who take responsibility! Too much responsibility-taking can foster self-pity. Sacrifice and martyrdom are akin to one another. Every human being is a martyr to some cause—even if the cause is the care-taking of one’s own body. Martyrs don’t necessarily have to be victims. But self-pitying martyrs don’t make very good bedfellows. As Harry Truman said, “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.” I say, you have the right to choose which kitchen you cook in.
Interpretation is everything. This manager can look for alternate interpretations. And, often the doomsday predictions are the product of leftover beliefs formed in childhood when we really were victims. Deciding to be Rescuers was one way of escaping Victimization, but at the personal level, most Rescuers end up being Victimized. So it is a no win game….and, yes, everybody dies. UNLESS, you change beliefs and get the concepts of metaphysics with the vast array of possibilities—including Ascension instead of death!!!
So endeth today’s diatribe. I have a feeling that I don’t want to show it to anyone, because…………
They might not like it.
They might reject me.
They might abandon me.
I might die!!!!!!!!
What the heck?
I might just Ascend and not die!!
Written on July 7, 2009