Here are the “Get Happy” Cards for your use.  I will leave them on the website until June 1, 2012.  Enjoy!

 

STORY OF THE TRANSFORMATION CARDS

Introduction

I created these cards to help you “Get Happy”.

My own life is my proof that happiness is really a choice.  It is not so much based on “happenings” from the outside, as it is based on our internal choices.  We do, actually, have a choice of what we believe, what we think, what we feel, and what we do.  We have a choice of response to every stimuli that comes to us.  Awareness of each of those components is the doorway to growth of consciousness.  It all shows up in the way we live our life story every day and in every way.  If you are unhappy, I have a sincere desire to offer a way to change.  Please read on…..

 

Tell a different story.  Feelings change according to thoughts; stories are made up of thoughts about the past or future; we create the story that is our life.

 

We are AUTHOR, ACTOR, and AUDIENCE of our life story.  The story is our own hero’s journey.  It is a drama, lived by us, and masterminded by us.  This story has a beginning, middle, and end.  It can be authentic (true) or false.  The true story is of our essence of soul on the journey in this lifetime.  That essence is a small piece of the creative Life Force–the God of Love.  We are Love itself and our story is in true form when Love is the pathway.  So, whenever our story moves away from the journey of love of self, others, and the world, we are “off-track” and not in the pursuit of our true evolutionary story.  To evolve is to expand beyond where we were and where we are.  Conditional love, whether it is from our self to self or from others holds us back from our possibilities.  Authenticity requires belief in abundance and purpose.  We can learn how to reach the success of our Soul Story through more skills and more knowledge, coupled with our basic life talents.  The talents will always be positive; the skills and knowledge are meant to develop the talents and that will also be positive. Our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior will best be in service of our life purpose—the evolutionary journey of the soul that is unique, individual, and significant.  This means that your story has never really been written before.  You are, therefore, creating and expanding life as we know it, here on this beautiful Planet Earth.

 

FEELINGS.  I was taught in graduate school (on my way to becoming a therapist) to pay attention to feelings.  Especially, I was taught to pay a lot of attention to negative feelings.  I learned later that there is a law of learning theory here:  What we pay attention to will expand.  So, the more I paid attention to my clients bad feelings, the more they practiced and learned how to express bad feelings, the more they became expert in feeling bad!  This is a revelation that I want to reveal in these cards.  These are cards of Transformation.  That means they are cards of new and different (better) formations, which transcend the old form.

 

The law of learning works equally well in the positive direction.  Paying attention, focusing on, and developing more awareness of positive emotions means that we will experience more positive feelings.  This is big news.  It means that much of our “talk therapy” which digs up our old victim memories and emphasizes them will surely leave us hating our parents, our past, and pitying our poor little lonely, afraid, ashamed, and guilty selves.

 

Instead, I suggest that the feelings you experience are like a gauge on the gasoline (energy) supply in your car.  The gauge indicates whether you have a full or empty tank.  When the tank has fuel, you keep on going.  When the tank is empty, the vehicle stops and you are pressed into some other behavior to get it going again.  Negative emotion is the indicator that you have run out of gas.  You are on empty and you are stalled beside the road, waiting for a push, assistance, or some form of getting yourself going again.

 

Some of us try to push the car ourselves.  We play the “Be Strong” game and exert all our effort into keeping the car moving.  Some of us play the “Be Pleasing” game and try to charm or cajole others into pulling or pushing or moving our car just because we do what they want us to do.  Others of us play the “Be Perfect” game, trying to learn all the rules of how to get the car going and keeping it going.  Another way we try to go without re-fueling is through the “Be Careful” maneuver.  But we can never be strong enough, pleasing enough, careful enough, or perfect enough to fill that tank with fuel.  Therefore, we spend countless hours in game-like behavior, trying to relate in such a way that life moves toward our goals.  Psychological games are played from three roles: Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim.  You can know that you are playing games when you have negative feelings.  Psychological games are guaranteed to end in bad feelings.  The bad feelings are the indicator that your life story is off track—your car is stalled—you are dependent on others for movement on your journey.   We can give up these phony roles and become authentic human beings.

 

Emotions are the guide.  They show whether we are on-track, authentic, real, genuine, and in charge of our own story or still in that helpless, hopeless, hapless co-dependence with all the unhappy outcomes.

 

Happiness is our job.  Joy is our birthright.  We were constructed to have “joie de vivre”—the joy of existence.  Negative emotions indicate when we have strayed from our true path.  Pay heed to your emotions.  They will give you much helpful guidance.  They are never “caused” from the outside.  Cognitive therapy is on target and you can learn about the power of your thoughts and your beliefs.  Beliefs are just congealed thoughts—thoughts you have thought a lot, therefore they become core beliefs.  Change your thoughts and you change your emotional flow.   Change your emotional flow and you will change your behavior.  Chronic negative emotions never do us any good.

They indicate we are running on “Empty”.  Positive emotions fill up our tank and keep us on the path to fulfillment.  My new belief is that we are meant to travel the path of unconditional love—a happy path.

 

HOW?   Perhaps you are asking, “How can I move into a full tank of positive emotion?”

 

First, tell a different story.  The story is yours to compose.  Join the triple A—become the Author, Actor, and Audience of your life drama.  It is yours and yours alone.  The great news is that when you upgrade your life story to one of joy and happiness, you will create a world around you where more joy and happiness exists.  As you change the story, listen to how you talk, watch what you do, and be aware of your feelings.  Create the story you want.  Create your future, which is waiting to emerge.

 

Begin with a simple, yet difficult, exercise:  Try saying, “I love you” to the face in your mirror every day.  Say it until you mean it and until the reflected person in the mirror knows that you mean it.  This is the equivalent of self re-parenting, which means doing for yourself all those things you wanted those around you to do all your life.  Do this exercise for one month and you will see how your inside self is the one creating your outside experience.  I anticipate that you will find yourself loving everyone and that you will be the recipient of smiles, hugs, love, and caring.

 

Next, we are now in the age of “concepts”, where creativity and empathy are expanding and we are moving toward more spiritual “right brain” activity to balance the century of left-brain dominance in the so-called knowledge age.  We are learning to use the frontal lobes of our brains.  We can choose, we can decide, we can intend, we can initiate from our own locus of control.  As they say in AA:  “It’s all an inside job.”   It is all inside-out, not outside-in.  We generate our beliefs-thoughts-feelings and behavior.  We have the choice.  The biggest change we have on the human consciousness horizon is that realization of our own power to select how we respond to the world as it comes in through our senses.  As goes your inside self—so goes your outside experience.  “As a man thinketh, so he shall become…..”  turns out to be true for men and women.

 

These cards are done for you to ponder and study your own power of transforming your existence from ho-hum, so-so, depressed, anxious, or angry to an existence of abundance, success, purpose, and joyful happiness.  The front of the card is the antidote to the back.  The front is positive emotion and the back is the negative.  The front side is sunlight and the backside is shadow.  The emotions on the front add fuel to your tank; the ones on the back indicate you are out of fuel.

 

Try it.  You may like it.  For example, if you are anxious, ask yourself what could I still be curious about?  Curiosity is the other side of anxiety.  Pursue the curiosity and you will leave behind your anxiety.

 

My own story is this:  As my five children were growing up, especially when they were beginning to drive, I spent a lot of anxious moments, imagining the worst and experiencing the bad feelings from that imagery.  Imagery multiplied by vividness always equals reality.  The more vividly I imagined them to be unsafe or even wrecking the car, the more I experienced the anxiety and foreboding dread of that moment.  I can tell you that usually led to being in an indignant rage when they finally came home, so I found my emotions moving from anxiety to rage.  Please notice how I am creating a world of misery for me and eventually, spilling it over to them.  Did that foster happiness? 

 

Fast forward to a new learning for me.  I truly believe that what I think about will come about.  My curiosity led me to wonder what I really wanted for them.  I began to think about what I did want as an outcome of my children driving cars at night.  I wanted them to be safe.  So, I shifted from the anxious imaginings of dire consequences to sending an imaginary tunnel of light for them to drive in.  This imaginary tunnel was a safe, protective light that would assure their return home safe and sound, without incident.  Anxiety transformed by curiosity to a positive emotion and to a positive outcome.  It is sort of like learning the real power of prayer (we now have many studies to show that prayer works).  The real secret is not to pray for prevention of what you don’t want but to focus on the actual successful picture of what you do want.

 

Choose any card that is interesting and tell your own story.  The cards work both ways:  You can transform from positive feelings on the sunny side to negative feelings on the shadow side, just by telling the story in its most negative form.  OR, you can make the choice to be happy and create the positive side of the negative feeling.  Remember, they are your guidance and they are the indicator of whether you are on purpose in your life or off purpose.

 

So, enjoy these cards.  Enjoy each day.  And, above all, GET HAPPY!

 

 

ABUSED?

If you are in an abusive relationship, get out.  Get help. .  If the abuse was in the past, forgive and let it go, for your own sake   Clear the path from self-pity to self-love.    Do your forgiveness work.  The past is over; it can no longer hurt you.

 

ANGRY?

Find your passion.  Put your anger into energy for a good cause.

Anger is a primary emotion ranging from exasperation to rage and torment.  Trace the progression from a belief through thoughts to the feeling.  Sift out all the self-pity, criticism, blame, irrational beliefs, and judgment and find the nuggets of gold that amount to your passionate energy.  Like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, transform your anger into useful energy for something worthwhile.  Stop imitating the angry figures from childhood who showed you the model.

 

ANXIOUS?

Your anxiety is energy used for no good.  Notice your repetitive thoughts and fear filled beliefs.  You may need help to confront the irrational mental maps.  Transforming anxiety to curiosity is an interesting exercise.  Try experimenting with gentle wondering.  Curiosity and wonder will lead you into positive action.  What are you curious about?

Self-hypnosis, relaxation training, or yoga will help.

 

BAD?

If you “just feel bad”,

STOP!  BREATHE!  FOCUS!

Do the awareness continuum:

What do I see right now?  Hear?   Taste?  Touch?  Smell?

Ask, What do I want to change?  Imagine the change you really want.  Place yourself in that scene as vividly as possible.  Keep noticing the thoughts you are having and take charge of any negative thought, changing it to its opposite positive thought.   Talk it over, journal about it, dialogue with the bad feeling. Rest and relax and wait for relief.

 

 

 

BLAMING, CRITICIZING, FINDING FAULT?

Claim ownership through awareness.   These negative thoughts feel like something is changing but most of what is changing is your own internal body responses.  You experience the effect even though it is directed to some outside person.  Take responsibility for your own behavior.  Own your own projections.  See through fresh eyes.  Hear through accurate ears.  Own your filters.

 

 

BORED?

Boredom is a cue that you are not aligned with your Strengths.  You are “off track” and wanting someone else to get you back on track.  Motivation comes when you have autonomy, creativity, and purpose.  Wake up!  Look around to see what needs to be done.  You might find excitement.

 

COMPARING, COMPETING?

This requires self-love and self-acceptance.   Yes, you really can love yourself.  Start now.  You are unique; you are significant; you are competent; you can be excellent; and you are a genius.  You have no further need to compare yourself or compete except for the fun of the game.  Life is not a contest that you must win.  Life is a journey to be enjoyed.

 

CONFORMING, COMPLYING?

Claim your own freedom.  Write your own story.  Dream your possibilities.  Stretch and grow into them.  Tell the story the way you want it.  Let others adjust for they will when you are sure you want your own life, your own freedom.

 

CONFUSED?

You can find clarity.  It exists.  Look around.  Focus.  Pay attention.  Be here now.  Notice sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touch.  Pause long enough to count ten deep breaths.  Notice something that you are absolutely certain about and focus on that, e.g. your next breath or the sunrise.

 

CONTEMPT?

This is a forceful, negative emotion.  It is from the “Killer Bee” part of your personality, full of stinging judgment.  It comes from a place of perceived superiority.  Allowing that you are one with all life will disallow contemptuous attitudes, for the one you are judging is part of your species.  Look at the defense mechanism of projection.  Your feelings are created by your perceptions, which are based on your projections.  Decide what kind of person represents the ideal rather than the contemptuous.  Become that person yourself and you will find empathy and understanding for the object of your contempt or disrespect.

 

 

DEPRESSED, DOWN?

Commitment.   Do something.  Create positive plans.  Commit to one thing; then do it.  Take a walk.  Write a note.  Doodle something.  Make a call.  Just do it.  Action and depression are not compatible.  Laugh for no reason.  Just change your mouth from down to up.  Amazing how that stimulates chemistry in your brain.  Smile, laugh, sing, chant,  beat the drum.  Just DO something.  Get with a competent therapist and close your suicide escape hatches.  Return to life.  Claim your existence and stop thwarting the vulnerable child within you.

 

DISAPPOINTED?

Maybe you need a tender loving caring person to hear your pain at being disappointed.  If you don’t have a good, deep listener, become the one you need—write it to yourself as if you are both the counselor and the counselee.  Feelings change when they are brought to light.  Because you are a light being, you get to practice letting go of the dark and heavy feeling and returning to your rightful place as a Being of Light.  Basically, you need to lighten up.

 

 

DISGUST?

See Anger, Contempt, Irritation, all of which are negative and power based emotions, derived from negative judgment.  Disgust will disappear when you find appreciation, acceptance, affirmation, and affection.  Change requires that you drop the fear-based need to control and move into really learning how to love, the hardest task we have as human beings.  Open your heart and risk the experience of love—first of yourself—then others.   Trust that you can do this.

 

 

DOUBT?

Eagerness will cure doubt.   Nature is your friend.  You can feel sure in Nature.  Create a sense of eagerness as you take a walk.  Look up at the sky.  Feel your feet on the ground.  Allow the new feeling: eagerness.  You may have forgotten childhood when you were eager about a lot of things—playing—running—skipping—jumping—shouting—laughing.

 

DREAD?

Procrastination is our way of serving the perfectionist within.  As long as we don’t complete something, we don’t make mistakes.  Bring the foreboding feeling to your conscious awareness.  Write it down.  Name what you are dreading.  Then practice prioritization instead of perfectionism.  Do what is necessary.  Do it right away.  Say to yourself, “I can—I will—I will do it ASAP.”  Then, take some sort of action.  After you have done something, reassess the dread.  Measure it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being high.  Watch it change.

 

ENVY?

Jealousy and envy are the green-eyed self-monsters that attack us.  Ask yourself who has provoked this anger and self-pity.  Make a list of all the ways you are upset.  Then realize that your own beliefs are the root cause.   You may want someone else to show fewer worldly goods so that you are not the loser in this contest.  The anger and self-pity that undergird feelings of jealousy and envy are the evidence that we still don’t believe ourselves to be enough.  The false belief is that if we are enough, then others will behave in ways that please us.  Stop comparing, stop criticizing, stop blaming, stop competing and you will let go of most of your envy.  Start loving yourself and forgiving yourself and you will return to your natural joyful essence.

 

 

EXHAUSTED?

Rest your body and allow your mind to find contentment.  Start with ten minutes daily.  Then expand however long you need to restore your energy.  Take stock of what you eat, drink, take, smoke, or the words that you say.  Stop describing yourself as tired.  Get a check up and create a health program just for you.  You deserve to be vibrantly alive and radiantly turned on to life.

 

FEAR/AFRAID?

Love  is the antidote to all fear.  False Evidence Appearing Real means that fear is an inside job.  Expand and exercise your love muscles.  Take small risks and confront the self-doubt.  Be your own advocate and protector.  “Perfect love casts out fear.”  Experiment with the truth of this statement.

 

 

 

FRUSTRATED?

Breathe!  Take three deep breaths with your tongue against the roof of your mouth.  Focus on something beautiful.  Listen to different music.  Sing a different song.  Tell a different story.  You can change even if “they” don’t.

Ask, “Whose problem is this?”  Then, deliberately do whatever belongs to you, and do it well.  Ideas come and go, but stories last.  Tell a different story.

 

 

GRIEF?

Accept the process of life.  Do the hard work.  Talk it out.  Write it out.  Scream it out.  Feel it.  Sense it.  Know it.  Experience it, and let it go.  Accept the facts.  Remember the good and the bad.  Decide how long to grieve.  Set the date for an end to the grieving.

 

GUILT?

This emotion is “man-made” for the purpose of keeping us in line with someone else’s rules.  Take charge of your own idea-making and create thoughts that please you.  Use your own vivid and positive imagination.  You can create actions based on your own initiative.  Let your genius come forth with clear conscience.  Let go of your resentments.

 

HATEFUL?

Love and approve of yourself.

You are enough.  Hatred is stressful, but you can protect your own body from this negative effect.  Forgive, be grateful, return to your true state of joy.  Own your own projection—whatever you hate in someone else is likely something you have not yet faced inside yourself.

 

HOPELESS?

Awaken and TRUST.  Change course.  Parent yourself.  You deserve a caretaker who is trustworthy and restores your natural state of hopefulness.  Optimism can be remembered.  You probably were optimistic when you were little.

 

HURT?

Notice the story around the hurt.  Where can you change the story?  Tenderly acknowledge your own feelings and tell a different story about what you like about yourself.  Leave self-pity and move into self-admiration.  The climb out of the pit will need expression of the feeling, regret for what happened, ownership of your own contribution to what happened, forgiveness for all involved, and back to sunlight through gratitude and love.  Laughter helps a lot.  Lighten Up!

Passivity and negativity are the underlying thoughts that bring us into feeling hurt.   We presume that others are actually intending to hurt us when they may not be thinking about us at all.  People act in hurtful ways and say terrible things; we take that into our own minds and respond from our base of habit patterns.  If you change your response, you will change your feeling.  “You hurt my feelings” implies that you have control of my internal self.  You actually cannot hurt my feelings without my collusion, my cooperation.  If I decide that my feelings belong to me, then you can do or say anything and I will protect my own feelings, choosing not to be hurt.  (I admit this takes a lot of practice).

 

IGNORED?

Do something to make yourself visible.  If you can do it with a light heart, you stand a good chance of being seen positively.  Write what you wanted instead.  The more you concentrate on receiving what you do want, the better your chance of getting it.   Reach out to someone friendly who will not ignore you.  Tell them the story and create options of how to stand out.  SHOW UP!

 

IMPATIENT?

Enjoy your journey.  Enjoy each moment.  Practice the art of “presencing”—being in the now moment.  Mentally rehearse what happiness looks like.  Feel the moment.

 

INADEQUATE?

Engage.  Find something that you can become totally engaged in doing.  Dig a ditch.  Wash the dishes.  Clean something.  Cut your fingernails.  Take a bath.  Then pat yourself on the back and notice that you really are enough!

 

INSECURE?

Attention is needed.  Pay attention to all the ways you could be loving and approving of yourself.  Change your thoughts to positive notice of yourself for 10 minutes.  List the things you like about yourself.  Let that give you relief.  Rehearse and practice how you want to feel, how you want to be, and what you want to do.  Keep imagining the best.

 

IRRELEVANT?

Belonging is a consistent need and perhaps you have grown old and out of touch with the younger generation?  Now is the time to meet your Spiritual self.  Change is imperative.  List all the ways you want to be.  Meditative silence is a gift you can give yourself.  Practices such as yoga or Qi Gong will bring back your well-being.  You deserve to be relevant in your time and space.  Let go of your dependence on how others behave toward you.  Let go, forgive, and be grateful.  Think the positive thoughts.  Drink water.  Breathe in and Breathe out.

 

IRRITATED?

Pleasure will alleviate your irritation.  Listen to music.  Get a massage.  Do something that gives you a feeling of pleasure.  Allow it to wash away all irritation.

 

JEALOUS?

Make a list of gratitudes.  Take at least 30 minutes to focus on what you are grateful for.  Stop competing.  Be yourself to the maximum.  Love and approve of yourself.   Jealousy is a secondary emotion rooted in anger.  Anger is the outward expression of our pain and it means that we want someone else to take the burden of making us happy or contented.  We want the other person to alleviate our suffering by doing what we want—either behaving a certain way or stopping some other relationship that is troubling.   This negative emotion asks you to love yourself and find the many reasons for being thankful.

 

LONELY?

Now is your time to be a friend to yourself.  Look in the mirror and experiment with a positive conversation.  Write a dialogue from your lonely self to your friendly self.  Answer from the caring and compassionate heart, saying what you need to hear for encouragement and optimism.  Have the friendly self call someone and make plans for something joyful.  Most of all, love and approve of yourself, unconditionally.

 

NEGLECTED?

Many of us experience these feelings as we age.  Our families are busy, and we wish for more than they can possibly give.  Self-awareness and self- entertainment are called for.  Delicious, creative alone time can replace the feeling of loneliness.  Alone time can be a space for harvesting memories, creating something, crafting beauty, discovering new talents, reading, writing, and service to some cause.  Get busy.  Do something.  Reach out.  Live. Love. Laugh. Look, Listen. Learn, and Leave a Legacy…..You can do it!

 

 

NUMB?

Be Aware.  Notice every part of your body.  Say hello to all your major organs.  Give thanks to your veins, arteries, and capillaries.  Thank your heart for beating without notice.  Awareness is the door to full liveliness.  Awareness comes in through our senses.  Focus on what you taste, touch, smell, hear, see, and intuit.

 

OVERWHELMED?

Multi-tracking, brilliant people are much in demand and can often get to places where there is no more time or energy to go around.   This requires merciless self-awareness.  Awareness of your irrational beliefs will help you with the thought that there is too much to do and that you are too little to do it.  Yet, you continue to respond to the needs around you because of some belief you hold.  Change your belief, and you will change your feeling.  For example, if you believe that something MUST be done, be curious about what NEEDS to be done.  Prioritize the necessary items and move the rest to the “later” list.  Protect your time and energy with no guilt.  You may need an internal Child Protection Association to shelter your inner child from the relentless internal parent driving you.   Consider a strange thought: overwhelmed may not be an actual feeling, but more of an opinion.    Say, “I will do what I can do and no more than that.”  Let the rest go with a clear conscience.

 

PESSIMISTIC?

Empowerment is needed.  You may be ready to break your limits.   Dream bigger and take the risk of becoming all you can become. What would your life be like if you reached your true potential?  Allow time for dreaming your “impossible” dreams.  We have good evidence that our day-dreams bring about a future that “wants” to emerge.  Notice how your pessimistic visions also come true.

 

PHOBIC?

Irrational fears are now treatable through many great methods, e.g. self hypnosis, desensitization, modeling, and behavioral therapy.  Seeing yourself taking small baby steps in the direction of overcoming the phobia will work.  If you can imagine it, you can do it.  Positive behavior starts in our imagination and negative emotion starts there also.  You may need someone to help you change your internal imagery, but it can be done.  (I guarantee it!)  Take heart, you are worth overcoming the fear.

 

POWERLESS?

Worry, fear, embarrassment, and helplessness are all part of the feeling of powerlessness.  These are negative feelings coupled with the belief that we are not in control.  Start with listing all the things you do control.  Decide how many ways you really do have power.  If you look at the opposite side, you might find that you fear being powerful.  You can claim the power of being alive, being aware, awakening to your worth.  Make note of everything you do from your own autonomy.  Compliment yourself for using that power.  What we pay attention to will expand.  Listen to the way you talk inside your mind.  Change your self-talk to center on what you do want, not what you do not want.

 

 

RAGE?

Turn your rage into enthusiasm.  Use the energy for something you love or care about.  If you don’t yet know what that is, look back to the times you were full of enthusiasm for something.  Expand that scene into something new and fulfilling.

 

REJECTED?

Claim your right to existence.  Say, “Here I am!”  and welcome yourself to the world.  You are One with life.  You are worthy.  Accept yourself  100%.  Stop letting someone else define and identify who you are.   Also, get real about whom you might be rejecting or have rejected.  Look at what you are perceiving and the projection behind the perception.

 

 

RESENTMENT?

The up side of resentment is appreciation .  Make a list of what you love and appreciate.  Get back to your true self, which is the one who loves and enjoys.

Forgive and let go.   Pray the ho-opono-pono prayer:  “If I have done anything to cause this negative event, I am sorry.  Please forgive.  I want to live in love and gratitude.”

 

SADNESS?

Your sadness will evaporate when you discover your birthright: JOY.  Welcome yourself to a new world, where you enjoy each moment.  Stop telling yourself the sad story.  Many sad stories are from the Victim role we play.  The Victim loves the story and does not want it to end, but you can change the story.  Make an end to your sadness and return to Joy.  The Victim part of you will adjust to being alive and well.

 

SELF-DOUBT/SELF-DOWNING

With every negative thought or word about yourself, STOP!  Pause, please, and ponder how this makes you feel.  Ask who you would be without these negative doubts and put-downs.  Deliberately stop your mind; question your thoughts; and silence the critical parent voice.  Ask yourself where you learned these negative messages.  What voice from your past are you imitating?  Change the story by counteracting the negative voice with five positive things you like about yourself.   Your perception can be changed.  Your negative interpretation can change.  You can choose to cultivate a nurturing parent voice that supports and cares about you internally.  Self love and self forgiveness are needed and possible.

 

 

SHAME?

You were never bad, wrong, or inadequate.  You are an innocent child-adult from Divine Source.  Someone you equated with God sent you messages about how you should be ashamed.  You were probably around two years old when you absorbed these messages instead of embracing your exuberant autonomy. Unconditional love of yourself will cure your shame.   Self-Love and Self-Approval may be difficult to do.  You deserve both today, just as you deserved love and approval as a little girl or boy.

 

SHY?

Tender, loving self-care is the requirement for shyness, uneasiness, or nervousness.  Have patience with yourself while you give gentle, faithful, loving re-parenting to yourself.  You can be both the caring Parent and the shy Child.  Understanding the fear and taking small steps toward the desired change will help.  Mental rehearsal of the scene can be done in a positive manner.  Just imagine yourself in a situation, acting comfortably with a small degree more of self-confidence.  If you imagine fear, gently move away from it, sticking with the positive vision.  Talking about it to a trusted friend or counselor will help.

 

 

 

SQUABBLING, ARGUING, FIGHTING?

To end the fighting, you need Knowledge about yourself and your early years.  Do the work of your leftovers from childhood.  Give up your need to be right.  (Some of us would rather be right than be happy.)  Intimacy is the difficult state that you want, so we fight as a way of experiencing some kind of closeness even though it is negative.  You deserve to grow beyond this old game playing and move into living in the present moment with joy and gratitude.  Love at its finest is the goal.  More than reptilian brain lust, more than agape safety, and more than family attachments, love is charity and forgiveness.  Love is warm acceptance of the other and the self, just as we are.

 

 

TIRED/WEARY?

Your body is calling for self- caretaking.  Your mind may be worn out, too.  You have been carrying a load for a long time, bearing up, persevering, exhausting yourself for the sake of some cause.  The cause could be as honorable as your family obligations or some form of charity.  If you are burnt out, you need to be re-fueled or even repaired.  A vision quest or a sabbatical is called for.  Extended rest for a weary body and mind is the antidote to this tired feeling.  Take a break, get away, rest until you are rejuvenated.  Return to your childhood dreams for hints.  What did you want, and what was fun for you?  Selfish is a positive word for tired and weary souls.  Nothing less than restoring the body-mind system is at stake here.

 

 

 

WORRY?

Relief is needed.  Worrying is addictive (“gotta keep worrying—at least it keeps something worse from happening…and so far it’s working, so I had better keep doing it!”).  Create new thoughts of what you really do want.   Go for the opposite of what you are worried about.  That will show what you really want.  If you are worried about your health, move into pictures of wellness and dwell on that for an equal amount of time and energy.  If you are worried about a relationship, change the worry into pictures and dreams of yourself becoming the way you want your partner to be.  Turn the worry upside down so that you can discover what you desire instead of continuing the magical worry-system you have created.  Drop the worry and imagine the future you really want.   That will bring relief.